The Curious Case of a Very Normal Monday

I wish!

It promised to be yet another Monday. You know, the one with the blues and all. Where you have way too much work, because of all the work you put off on Friday because you were simply too lazy and looking forward to the weekend, and somehow assumed that Monday would make it all better. Except you wake up Monday hating life and work and everything about it that might be responsible for your alarm ringing at 6.30 AM, and snoozing till 7 AM.

And then the most normal Monday in the history of Monday begins.

You get out of bed, take a shower, step out in your towel, and find a man asleep on your living room couch.

Now, finally awake, you convince yourself work is important, run out of home and reach on time, and actually manage to get your ass down to working.

You realize just how creepy men in the current client office are. Specially the ones who smile at you and ask where your ‘friends’ are. And that is around the time you remember you’re at the far off corner of the world, surrounded by tyre shops and one road away from the main red light district of the city. Not that it’s related, but that was weirdly the sequence of thoughts in my head.

You realize on the way back home, that everyone, and I mean everyone is either already married, or planning on getting married a little too soon. And you suddenly feel old. And off the path. In a weird way.

You manage to get a bus and a seat in the bus within 5 seconds of leaving Andheri station. Like wow. Luck and me don’t usually see eye-to-eye, but that lady must have been in a very rare good mood!

You reach home, tired of sitting alone without any social interaction, hoping to at least open your mouth and talk to your flat-mate, only to find an empty flat.

The kitchen bulb is missing.

The gas is lit. The pan shows signs of salty water which must have evapourated hours ago.

Washed undergarments, not necessarily owned by you, are strewn across your bed.

You have dinner, and then realize that the maid is secretly trying to poison you, slowly and brutally, by adding an entire packet of red chillies in your sweet lil chicken.

You try to kill all the chillies with dessert. And for some weird reason, you choose to not choose the german chocolate, the strawberries, the other amazing fruits, and settle with a bowl of milk powder. Yes dear reader, you read right, milk powder.

Your bathroom smells funny. After checking your pits and breath you finally start to look around. Then start to feel dizzy because you spot the culprit. There is poop on your toiletries slab.

Okay, so I lied. This was definitely not my normal Monday.

Some of the above things have surprisingly logical explanations. A friend unwell in the middle of the night. A five year old with an upset tummy. Pigeons and lack of space. Some, on the other hand, shall remain an eternal mystery.

Or at least a mystery till I manage to actually meet my flatmate.

P.S. She’s from Canada, and I genuinely believe we still live in two completely different time zones.

P.P.S. Tuesday on the other hand, happens to be a completely different story altogether.