How to lose me in 10 ways...

There is a lot I can endure, and a lot I can probably smile and let go of. But simply put, there are some non-negotiables, always. So you could look like Tom Cruise, talk like Johny Depp, sound like Bryan Adams, write like Jug Suraiya, and fulfill all the requirements I had listed earlier, but if you do any of the following, forget packing your bags, you may never unpack to begin with.

1. Tell me you have no interest in food, and it’s simply a necessity to live each day. Cut your food portions in half to watch your health. Think that a romantic meal means a dinner at my favourite restaurant for me, followed by a stop at a vada-pav-dosa stall for you. Order separate dishes and don’t share food. Be a vegetarian.
2. Tell me while I’m fine now, you’d be completely turned off if I gained weight. Don’t get me wrong, I understand gaining weight can never be a good thing. But there’s this lil thing called loving me no matter what, like, ring a bell?!
3. Have bad grammar. Mind my correcting your grammar.
4. Smoke.
5. Drive like a maniac, don’t know how to reverse park.
6. Ask me why I need so many shoes.
7. Pat my head and not consider me worthy of discussing your life and job problems with.
8. Think it’s alright to say things to me and call me names and justify it with your anger. If you can’t keep your head at your worst, don’t bother being sweet to me at your best. And if you can’t accept me for who I am, well, don’t.
9. Tell me I won’t understand.
10. Tell me you love me, but, I don’t fit into your plan right now. I’m sorry, if you don’t love me enough to want to be with me right now, at this moment, or if your plan is worth losing this moment with me, good bye.

Arranged Endings

“I love cricket.”

She smiled. He took a sip of his coffee.

“And music.”

She smiled some more. He took another sip.

“Am looking for a homely yet modern girl, you know, who knows how to balance career and family. And I love dhoklas and khakras. Do you know how to cook?”

The smile grew yet bigger. "Of course not, but I do make a killer coffee."

Slightly uncomfortable, he drained his cup, and tried yet again.

“So what do you like to do?”

The smile disappeared for a second. “Oh, I like to make this world a better place. I’m a prospective annoying groom exterminator.”

Just as he started to laugh, he felt his throat constricting, and looked down in shock at the slightly weird tasting coffee, and the now gleeful smile on her face.

Then it all went black.

Ctrl+Alt+Del

She hit the keys gently, then hard, with growing frustration. The screen stayed adamantly grey and locked.

“Damned office laptop!” she screamed, finally switching off the power, letting go of all the unsaved data. Only then did she look up to see her shocked manager staring down at her, seated, by mistake, at his desk.

Closer

She smiled at her creaking bed as he climbed into it and pulled the blanket over them. He draped an arm around her, knowing, possessive, owning, their skin melting into the other as only one incomplete without the other can. She smelt the lingering remains of smoke on his lips and frowned. Yet, she couldn’t recognize him anymore without it. She snuggled up closer to him and slept, the only way she knew how.

He smiled as he pulled her closer to him, his comfort, his safety blanket, the one assurance in this menacingly sadistic world. He smelt her hair, reminding him of that scent that always lingered around her, constant, yet indistinguishable. He dozed off holding her, into a dreamless sleep, the only way he knew how.

As their alarms rang in the morning, separated by distance, physical and created, they stumbled out of their beds, without once reaching out to the empty space beside them, for they knew, it was as it had been for some time now, and would continue to be…empty.