Wednesday, February 29, 2012

For the Annoying Sake of Definitions

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Now the following is a conversation that has sadly happened more times than I care to count in my life outside of Delhi. Specially my two years in Mumbai. And it almost always, and I repeat, ALWAYS goes the exact same way. This is when I meet a new person, lets for interest sake call them Ms/Mr. X.

X: So…that’s a weird surname….what are you?
Me: As in?
X: You know, like are you Bengali, or Gujarati or what?
Me: Oh, I’m a Delhiite.
X: <sniggering> No, I mean what are you?
Me: Well, I’ve been born and brought up in Delhi, that makes me a Delhiite, right?
X: Err…No.
Me: <Sighs>
X: <Weird crazy-girl look>
Me: Well, my parents family lineage goes back to UP.
X: So…
Me: I guess by that logic I’m a UPite.
X: No, that doesn’t make sense.
Me: Why? Gujaratis originated from Gujarat…Bengalis from Bengal…I originated from UP. So UPite.
X: No, but that’s not a caste.
Me: You want to know my caste?
X: Yeah that’s what I meant!
Me: Bengali is not a caste.
X: Err…
Me: I’m a kayasth.
X: What’s that?
Me: I have no clue.
X: Err….so you’re a Bhaiyya?
Me: <rolls eyes> Sure.
X: You speak Bhojpuri?
Me: People in Kanpur and Lucknow don’t speak Bhojpuri you know.
X: Oh… <Awkward Silence>
Me: <Thanks God for the end of that mind-numbing conversation>
X: So you’re a Delhi girl? But you’re so not like a Delhi girl!
Me: <takes out her oh-so-cool Hattori Hanzo sword and finally gets the idiot’s party started>


  1. Heheheh.. :P

    So..what are you? ;-)

  2. I hate the obsession with caste!!! I make it a point to tell everyone I don't know my caste (dunno...makes me feel cooler :D). The reactions are totally worth it!

  3. you gotta be kidding... people still make those kinds of conversations??.. kinda lame to ask abt caste and stuff.. i mean its freakin 2012.. some of 'em gotta seriously get over themselves...

  4. hello bhaiyya! :-p

    it's always funny hearing stereotypical, but wrong, assumptions like, "you're from Rajasthan, so you're a Rajput, right?", "bengalis consider fish as vegetable", "even auto drivers in Chennai are fluent in English"

    Here is a similar post:

  5. few ppl ask it blatantly and the rest cannot :). enjoyed the read.

  6. @Phatichar - Fear the Hanzo sword...always!!!!

    @Ruchi - I would half expect u to say, oh I'm a mix of Dehradun-Bangalore-Kuwait-Toronto-Mumbai...go figure!! :D

    @Malini - Thank you! If only the actual conversation was interesting!! :P

    @VPZ - Well...apparently its important to know a person's background to judge the person. It would help if the person herself had any clue :P

    @Indrajit - This world is full of stereotypes! Whatodo. Will read the post for sure!

  7. @Debajyoti - As always...thank you :)

  8. I hope you used that Hatori Hanzo sword really well :P

  9. @Red Handed - Sir Hanzo would have been proud!

    @Zeba - Oh well!

  10. next time...when askes what are you...try this - im a human being, an indian and a woman, totally in this particular order...!!!

    im sure the other person would get gobsmacked!!!

  11. Hehe, two years in Mica and I never would have thought you were a "bhaiyya". But then, appearances can be deceptive ;)

  12. @Shooting Star - Or maybe he'll just open his mouth and ask..."But what??" :P

  13. @Neeraj - I am..ahem...a delhiite, remember?!

  14. "Do you speak Bhojpuri?" haha.

    I just generally go with "Jaat kya hai?"

    BTW you are a 'lala'.

  15. @Wanderlust - Waah lala. Thats a new one! :P


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