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Thursday, August 16, 2012

As the clock ticks...




In two hours from now, I turn 25.

I should be happy.

I always imagined I will be happy.

I always wanted to be older. And 25 sounds like as perfect an age as any, no? When you’re old enough to have done so many things in life.

But what happens, when you wake up, and realize, you’ve done none of the things you thought you would have by 25?

What happens when you turn 25 at a time when every morning, you can barely figure out a reason to get out of bed to begin with?

Someone today asked me about my story. He caught me by surprise. Ever done one of those assignments in school, when you write your autobiography? Ever answered one of those ‘Where do you see yourself five years from now’ questions? Did you answer one five years ago? Are you there now? Will you even be there in another 5 years?

What went wrong?

I had a plan. A 5 year plan. A 10 year plan. And then it all went wrong. So wrong.

There is a simple way of making plans work.

You stick to them.

But I didn’t. I lost my way. And I have enough anger and resentment in me today to fuel a space ship to Pluto.  And most of it is aimed at me. I can blame others, but why bother. At the end of the day, I’m the one who didn’t stick to the plan. And nobody forced me not to.

So the time has come, I guess, to sit down and make yet another plan. And this time, to remember, what’s really important.

To stick to it.

P.S. I also got another surprise. I was told by someone relatively new in my life, that I crib more than a rather cribby common friend we have. And that’s when I realized just how big a pain-in-the-ass I must have turned into nowadays for people around me. For the older ones, who are currently rolling their eyes reading this, yes, believe it, I’ve gotten worse.
So I guess I know where to start with the plan.

P.P.S. Any suggestions on how to be one of those annoyingly chirpy optimistic positive people? Suggestions from extremely unlucky and old people would be mucho appreciated!

16 comments:

  1. Oiii advance b'day wishes to you love :)

    Don't think so much. Sometimes we have a plan but we adjust ourselves to situations without thinking. We may deviate from those plans but if you really want it, it's never too late. :)

    Cribbing is okay. Trust me, I'm sure you crib and vent things out and THAT makes you feel better, so why bother? Don't change yourself unless it's for yourself :D

    Have a great day and amazing year ahead.. May this b'day help you fulfill your wishes... :D

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  2. Birthdays are depressing for this very reason - it makes us question our very existence on the day we came into the world.

    I`m not overtly optimistic nor am I even as 'aged' as you :P - but I think keeping it simple helps in times like these.

    Wish you a happy 25th Birthday, may your hopes and dreams translate into reality.

    Cheers :)

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  3. Plans suck (bhai would disagree). Just go with the flow dude. For this moment, forget the norms and expectations - did you really have such a crappy year? or crappy 25 years that you can't think of any moments that make you smile? Sure, maybe more make you frown, but why bother with those.

    PS: I'm that optimistic chirpy character you're going to want to strangle and fling out the window.

    Cheers!
    Ruchi

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  4. Plans are made for two reasons. Either to stick to it, or to crib about it. Its a choice we need to make. It ain't easy trust me :)

    Happy Happy Birthday and may all your hope and dreams come true. I turned 26 last week, and well went through the same. It happens every year :D

    Cribbing is okay, everyone does it. Whining is not. There is a thin line that separates the two.

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  5. Wish you a very happy birthday...I am 31 now and whenevr I hear any mention of 20s it sometimes freaks me out ha ha....25 is a tender age and you have a very long way to go...Just live life everyday relishing its moments...Planning is good but dont let it take over your peace...Have fun :)

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  6. Happy Birthday :D

    Take life as it comes, and what's life without a bit of cribbing ?
    plans go wrong to make way for better ones!
    Enjoy! :)

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  7. Happy Birthday first off!!

    I think cribbing is completely normal.
    Its our reaction to the times when our 'plans' do not work out. So if you're cribbing, you are making too many plans. I would say, just go with the flow. It can be amazing where life takes you.

    Sorry for being saccharine. Its my fav sis's birthday after all :)

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  8. Dear Shreya

    It has been really long. I stumbled upon your new blog only a few days ago. It is always a refreshing break to read it between all the work. Though like always, I feel your writing, though quite intimate, is still detached from your personal self. But, then I never knew you too well anyway. As for this post, I turned 25 few weeks ago as well. It was nothing special. I could barely get myself out of the bed on the Sunday morning and drag myself to a lunch that I had organised with some friends. The lunch and the little celebration was purely to avoid looking like a complete social-retard. I spent the evening at home, attended some calls, drank tea, listened to some music and slept for an early Monday morning. All the golden jubilee congratulations seemed like mild insinuations that my special birthday was after all, not so special. I could have been a chirpy host throwing a big party, getting drunk. But I was happy the way I was. I guess then the only advice I’d give would be to make your own benchmark for happiness and contentment, and you’ll never be sad or angry.

    Happy birthday!

    PS: I am extremely lucky and as old as you.

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  9. As someone rightly said - Life is what happens to you when you are busy making other plans.. :-)

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  10. Happy belated birthday! No advice - just take each day as it comes..every day is a teacher. You'll learn. :)

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  11. many many happy returns of the day to you.

    take it easy and walk tall :)

    we cant change the past- future we dont have in our hands but TODAY is the day we can live and do something about .. SO go for it

    Bikram's

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  12. Happy Birthday! I turned 29 two days ago. And I agree with Phatichar. :)

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  13. @Confused Soul - Thank you so much!! That comment just made me smile...one of the few people who would say it's alright to crib!! ;)

    @Atrocious Scribblings - Thank you! It's good to know I'm not the only one :)

    @Ruchi - Were you always this chirpy and optimistic?? Or India did this to you??? Like, seriously!!!

    @Soumya - Point taken. Your post, by the way, had given me a lot of hope. A sucky year can be followed some years later with beautiful ones, and everything does happen for a reason. Happy belated birthday!!! :)

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  14. @jaish_vats - Hehehe...thank you. It's all a matter of perspective then, isn't it?

    @Sohini - Now that's optimism! Thanks a ton!! :)

    @Wanderlust - Hehee...saccharine is completely allowed this month! So go with the flow, huh? Cuz the flow knows where to go?? :)

    @Anonymous - Wow. Do you know since the day you commented, I've been wracking my brains trying to figure out who you are, and have absolutely no clue? But I am glad you chose to spend your birthday the way you wanted. No one says partying is the only way to go. Happy belated birthday :)

    @Sahil Ludhani - But what happens when you live it with absolutely no plans whatsoever?! :P

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  15. @phatichar - Your 'no advice' is great advice indeed! ;) thanks a ton for the wishes!! :)

    @Bikramjit - Exceptionally true! Thank you!

    @Sumitra - Happy belated birthday!!! :) :) Hope it was a good one.

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  16. Hey Shreya, that was me. Can't log in from office, and forgot to sign off the post.

    ReplyDelete

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