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Friday, May 9, 2014

The Great Indian Circus: Behind the Wedding Scene!


Ever since I was a kid, I was very very confident that I wasn’t interested in a religious ceremony and all the jazzy preparations that go along with Indian weddings. What I wanted was always clear - go sign a document in court, throw a small party for people you really care about and want to celebrate with, and go on to live a happily married life.

I was told a million times my choice would change once I grew up.
It didn’t.

And then I decided to get married to a Punjabi Munda.

And all hopes for a wedding on a piece of paper went up in smoke faster than I could say the words ‘Punjabi Munda’.

And that’s when I found myself pulled into a whirlwind seven months of preparations and all the drama that makes up a big fat Indian wedding. And here’s what I learnt from the experience:
  • To begin with…you have to shop. A LOT. For things you’ll barely ever use. Because. Just Because.
  • Life suddenly ends up revolving around exactly two things: Work. And Wedding prep. Work during weekdays. Shop on weekends. And work and shop in all the by-chance-free-breathing-moments you may have somehow managed in between.
  • I know you may want to be super involved in everything to do with your wedding…The venue, the décor, the menu, the invites... My advice? Don’t bother. You are the one person who won’t really get to experience any of the above. Specially the food. Damn. Not getting to eat is my biggest regret. Specially when I hear people tell me how yummy the damned fish and kebabs were. (Where the hell was the fish?!!?)
  • Your camera guy will spend more time with you than your own family members during the actual functions. Whether that’s a good thing depends on whether you like being told to swirl in the 8 degree temperature corridor in a 20-kilo lehenga and still manage a smile that doesn’t make you look like a potential murderer. You WILL end up killing them in your blog eventually. But at that moment, he’s your closest family.
  • Your jaws will ache. From smiling at aunties cracking jokes I never seem to get. From smiling at aunties asking if your cheeks have got rashes (No, it's rouge, but thank you for trying to cause a mini-panic). From smiling for the 10000+ photographs that technology now allows to be taken. From smiling at the pandit when he forgets a few not-so-important things like the mangalsutra.
  • You will unquestioningly touch anyone and everyone’s feet. They look older than you? Do a mini suryanamaskar.
  • You will get less sleep than your most happening college night. For days in a row. And you’ll have to smile through it. Every damned second.
  • But having said all that, I have to say, I surprisingly had much much more fun at my wedding than I had ever imagined possible. I was kept away from all worries by my parents, given a lot of pre-sleep and pampering before the big day, and loved and cared for all through.
But more than anything else, I was highly overwhelmed by the number of people who came from all over the country, and outside, just to be there on that date. Family, childhood friends….It’s overwhelming to know they’re all there, for you. And you wonder in awe, since when have you become important enough, to deserve so much love and attention. It is, by far, the most touching thing in the world.

And for that, thank you.

P.S. One of the biggest REAL lessons I have learnt? Remember how someone invited you to their wedding at a slightly inconvenient date, around a meeting, or a holiday, or one of those things? And you politely declined, thinking, among the thousands of people attending, you won’t really even be noticed or missed? Bullshit. Your absence was noticed. And missed. And put on a hitlist. Trust me.




7 comments:

  1. Amen to all that! Experienced the same in February. So much for wanting a registered marriage that shouldn't take much effort to just sign and get over with it.

    I guess I was lucky to get a last minute preparation ka wedding since mine was a thriller story of love-families-accepting-unaccepting-list goes on. Still it was every bit strenuous because people didn't seem to opt for simplicity just because it was last minute. Sigh!

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  2. @Keirthana - I must say...in that case you definitely witnessed more drama than I did! Exciting in hindsight :P

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  3. Ah ha punjabi wedding. I never say no when invited to one.. No way. I was in india march..For just that.. my cousin sis.. got married.. It was 10 days of utter chaos and fun combined together..

    So who all are on the hit list then. . He he he

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  4. "Cheeks have got rashes "...!!!?? hahahahaha who said that!! that is hilarious.

    PS: Hey, you have to agree that somewhere you did enjoy all the attention and the punjabiness of the wedding! c'mon!

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  5. Hhahahaha mini surya namaskar....hahahah
    I laughed so hard. You are so cute madamji!!!!

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  6. First, a big warm hug and congratulations girl. :)

    And shaadi season seems to be on..what's your love story? *being nosey* :P

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  7. @B - It definitely IS fun. And a lot of other things!!! And the hitlist is short but heavy with friends and relatives :D

    @Shaguna - An aunt of mine. Have never doubted my make-up skills more. And of course I enjoyed the wedding! Except the pics :D

    @Red Handed - Hahaa...thank you! The day I catch up with your humour quotient, I shall be very very happy!

    @Confused Soul - Thank you so much! And it's not too long or tooo filmy. Maybe some other day :P

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