O Captain! My Captain!

The thought. The ideal. Perfection, dented, in the most beautiful way to create true unblemished beauty. The long list with all the pointers written with a permanent marker, and some with invisible ink, all ticked off.

Irrespective of whether Captain’s already in my life, whether he’s my imaginary soul mate, or whether he’s a small figment of my optimism (that’s really for me to know, and not for you to be nosing around in, don’t you think?), I sometimes stop to think just how difficult this world really is for him. Because you know that little checklist I just mentioned? Well, it’s been formed over all of 24 years honey. And frankly, if there’s one thing life teaches you, it’s that the list just grows, more and more, all the time.

And these past 24 years have been colourful and informative, to say the least. There has been a plethora of old Hindi movies, with the song and dance numbers, sexy Hollywood films, romantic French films, and literature varying from the classics to the vampires of today. The image may sadly actually owe its origins to the first time Shah Rukh wooed Kajol in the DDLJ, starting to take shape only after Tom Cruise “Had me at hello!”.  And then there were the Keanu Reeves, Val Kilmers and Brad Pitts of the world. And then came about Johnny Depp. And the world as we knew it, was never quite the same again, now was it?

So the Captain should obviously be as sexy as Tom Cruise in Jerry Maguire, just not as stupid.

He should as deep as Depp, but without the hidden levels.

He should be as strong and possessive as Edward Cullen, just not as nauseating.

He should be as suave as Rhett Butler, but frankly my darling, he should give a damn.

He should pull out the chair for you to sit in, but first let you decide where you want to sit.

He should be funny and flirtatious like Hugh Grant.

But sophisticated and downright proper like Colin Firth.

He should like you in your pretty dresses, but love you as much in your torn pyjamas.
He should infuriate you like Austen's Darcy, and maddeningly love you back as much.

He should treat you like a lady by the day, and love you like a lady at night.

He should dirty dance like Patrick Swayze, and come back to haunt like his Ghost.

Every time you do something wrong and apologise, he should say sexy lines like Oliver Barrett IV… “Love means never having to say you’re sorry…” SIGH.

He should publically serenade you like Heath Ledger, even though there are ten things you may hate about him.

He should go bonkers like Archie, with the drooling tongue and the hearts and everything, every time he sees you dressed up.

He should stick like The Notebook’s Noah, writing 365 letters 365 days a year to you.

He should look into your eyes like Shantaram, and know in an instant what your deepest fear is.

He should cook meals like Masterchef Australia, and still polish off the last of the mess you concocted.

He should cover you with his overcoat like Darcy, as you run out in your leopard Bridget Jones undies onto the snowing road, and kiss you like he owns you.

He should have Clooney’s salt and pepper hair.

He should make you want to change every last little atom in your body, just for him.

He should love you, just the way you are.

Oh my poor sweetheart Captain! My heart does go out to you. For till yesterday you just had to be the guy who earned a decent living, and me the gal who cooked at home and waited for you to come back from office. But today, it’s a whole new world. A world which demands you to figure out how to be this super-Rhett Butler-meets-Edward Cullen-meets Jerry Maguire-with brains like Depp-mutant-person even before you can figure out how to be yourself.

Except…you’re all of that already.

And so much more.

My Captain.