The Day the Music Died

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So you meet this new person who for whatever weird reason you’re stuck with / want to be stuck with and try to make all sorts of useless conversation which portrays you / him / her as interesting in a way that doesn’t make you want to pull your hair out by the end of the hour.

And after all the ‘aaahs’ and the ‘hmmms’ it eventually always comes down to this one question, a question that I have come to despise, a question from which there is no escaping.

“So what kind of music do you like?”

See, now my problem with the question starts with the simple premise that it seems to be based on. And since everyone seems to ignore that premise, I always find myself in a conundrum where I’m bored enough to talk through my teeth, and fumble around with two left feet.

So I say I like rock. To which he / she will obviously ask me which bands, what kind of rock etc. etc., and I’ll give him / her some basic prepared answers and he / she will nod and discuss the band members / albums / history with me. And then one of these happens:

“Oh have you heard that song?” or

“Oh you must listen to this blah-blah song by this blah-blah band. Here, I’ll play it on my i-pod / phone / whatever idiotic gadget for you.”

And this is when I pack up and leave.

And weirdly the above scenario played out multiple times is easier than to correct the simple premise where the person went wrong.

I don’t like music.

Actually, let me correct that, I have nothing against music. I have nothing for it either. I don’t run to music to improve my mood. I switched off music while studying. And I wouldn’t starve to frustration if I didn’t have access to music.

I can’t sing to save my life. And there isn’t a single musical bone in my body.

I don’t care for music.

Now this should be simple enough. You know, like people don’t like to dance, or don’t appreciate art, or something like that. But noooo…in stead I’m met with these shocked expressions and not very subtle question marks.

“But…how is that possible?! How do you live?! What do you do???”

“Err…I read. I write. I watch stuff?”

Nope. That is not an acceptable answer. Sowwy.

I could tell you that my singing would give donkeys some very serious competition. That when I had a television, I liked to wake up and dance to MTV break-free mornings while getting ready. That most of my knowledge of music is borrowed from songs I heard playing in the neighboring hostel / people’s cars / parties where I was too drunk to care what I was dancing to.

But that won’t really help my case I guess.

Because apparently I can’t just be a boring writer / reader / viewer.

Who doesn’t like any sports. Specially cricket.

WAIT…WHAAAAA??????