It’s a weird term.
An alien term.
It sounds negative, so negative. It sounds like something we hear of / have read about / have seen in others, but it’s definitely not something that could ever happen to us.
If only that were true.
Because in my opinion, addiction has a far wider definition than most of us care to realize. Because most of us, are addicted. Your vice could be alcohol, gambling or cigarettes, it could be shopping or chocolates, it could be porn or physical intimacy, or work, or a person…it could be absolutely anything under the world, only you would know.
But chances are, you wouldn’t know. Because it would be so ingrained into your daily life, that you won’t even notice it. Not until it’s gone. Completely. Suddenly. From your life.
And that’s when the withdrawal symptoms hit you.
This is the point at which you have a choice. You can choose to deal with the symptoms, somehow get through all that pain, and make yourself believe, in your darkest most pathetic hour, that there will eventually be a light at the end of the tunnel.
Or you can look at yourself at your darkest, most pathetic moment and break. And chase your vice. Whatever the cost. It could be your hard earned savings, your family and friends, your self respect, or even your life. And hopefully, if you have enough to give up, enough to match up to the price demanded, you will catch up with your vice, and enjoy another torrid love affair with your addiction.
But addictions are demanding things. They always want more. It’s the weirdest symbiotic relationship. As you consume your vice, thereby erasing its presence from the universe, you erase bits of yourself…slowly, but steadily. You pretend to not care about your vice, but your vice stopped caring about you a long time ago. It’s a self destructive game theory routine. You either live together, or die together. And weirdly, you’re miserable either way.
So which do you choose? Do you choose to battle through the never ending pain, hoping that life might be better without that one thing that you choose to live for? Or do you choose to die, chasing the one thing you want to live for? When do you realize which is the right decision? When the vice is too far away, and life too miserable? Or in your last breath, of regret?